Drunken me: The room is spinning… where am I?
Me: you’re somewhere in the Americas
Drunken me: how did I get here?
Me: You’ve got no home, remember? so you packed your bags and you made it all the way to this foreign land.
Drunken me: Yeah that’s right. I needed a drastic change in my life. I had to break the chains and breathe freedom so I took matters in my own hands — I’m the master of my own destiny - Hooray!
Wait, am I happy?
Me: Yes you’re probably better off with such new beginning. You were miserable back there but not sure you’re happier now. I think you’re trying hard to find purpose but you haven’t found what you’re looking for. I wouldn’t say you’re happy; You’re most likely comfortably numb.
Drunken me: Comfortably numb… yeah, Pink Floyd!.. the whole humanity is comfortably numb.. they just don’t admit it…cause they’re numb! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…
If I’m not happier, then am I just running away from something? Oh Gosh, I did run away, didn’t I?
Me: You’ve been running away all your life. You’ve had your fair share of hardship; you ran away from your life many times before… You’ve endured pain, wars, abuse, oppression, failure after failure.. loss after loss. You’ve sacrificed so much it’s insane. You’ve shelved so many bad memories and cut so many emotional ties especially with those who tried to hold you back. You’re a tyrant, a “Machete”, a real wild creature who wouldn’t take no for an answer and would put “down” anyone who tries to cut her path. You’re lucky to be alive.. do you even want to be alive?!
Drunken me: No!! I would rather be dead but do you blame me? I’m a survivor and I’ve got so much to give, so many wild adventures to live! I lost at least 18 years of my life living in hiding from death machines and sniper bullets… there are 18 years gone! Do you hear me??! 18 years vanished! Unaccounted for! Stolen! Hijacked! I want them back and I’m going to fight hard for them!
Me: You are ruthless. You have no heart. And you follow no rules. You plan and you execute… you have to slow down else your ambition will kill you…
Drunken me: Hahahahahahaha.. who said I’m not already dead inside? I’ve got no soul! I’m a walking dead, I’ve got nothing to lose.. nothing! When my body becomes lifeless, those who love me will mourn then forget me.. those who hate me will rejoice. those who loved me, will understand why… yes, I’ve got nothing to lose, and I’m going to explore and wander and take risks until the day I die!
Me: You could have stayed with him.. he made you happy
Drunken me: Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Caught in a really bad romance
Me: You will wake up one day and realize you’ve lost everything and everyone!
Drunken me: I’m never going to wake up… the world and time are what we humans make of them.. we are just an illusion.. Nothing is what it seems. Nothing is final. Nothing is real!
What I think I want now, is not what I would want tomorrow and certainly not what I wanted yesterday..
Drunken me keeps babbling.. We’re living a lie. Nothing is real. Life is an illusion and a fallacy… Dust in the wind, all we are..
Me: In other words “ Reality is what we take to be true. What we take to be true is what we believe. What we believe is based upon our perceptions. What we perceive depends on what we look for. What we look for depends on what we think. What we think depends on what we perceive. What we perceive determines what we believe. What we believe determines what we take to be true. What we take to be true is our reality” David Bohm